Broken Hearts Beat Just Fine?

I wake up every morning and I try to understand why things don't tend to work out as well as I would want them to. I only realize how harsh people and events can be. I went to Brooklyn over the weekend. I went to visit my good friend Dylan and his lovely new girlfriend Scarlett. Bryce had convinced me to tag along last minute so I packed a flannel and deoderant. That's all I wish I had to my name sometimes. Well we voyaged into the city and ended up at Scarlett's apartment by pratt. We wandered the subways and the streets of Brooklyn and Manhatten most of the weekend. It was somewhat a tempary vacation from my oh so stressful life. A release of what I can't control here in PA. Sunday we visited my Dad's plot. He still doesn't have a tombstone to his name, but I paid my respects. We barely made our way into the graveyard because of a prick bastard who was trying to lock the gate. We first pleaded with him to let us in, then threatened. We of course pushed our way in and I did what needed to be done. The man who worked there had been so frustrated from us he must of decided it was right to lock us inside the Queens cemetary. We found our way out, and Bryce and I ended up coming home. The minute I stepped out of that car onto my driveway I was hit again with reality.

I stumbled into my room to read my final wake up call in a message over myspace. Everything I figured was the case in my head had been said. My heart aches, and my brain is working overtime. I knew she would not feel the same as me, a specially after all this time of never making any real moves. She got over me. I guess I deserve it. I put her through this when she liked me, it's kind of like karma. I'm finally taking it in now. Maybe I do this to myself, because I enjoy the pain. I like being upset which just causes me to build anger. Almost like fuel of hatred to keep on the go. I'll be just always be the nice guy in the end, the friend you come to tell all your troubles, the shoulder to cry on. You'll come to me for advice and I'll try my best to help, but deep down I won't know what to do around you. Deep down I'll still feel the same. I'll always be your friend to keep you smiling and happy because I am a sucker like the rest. There really is nothing I can do to convince her to fall for me, and in the end I am right where I started. A lonely, "heartbroken" dumb fuck, feeling awkward and shoegazing during conversation. I don't know anymore... Karma is a bitch.

Put on some Minor Threat, let out the aggression I have towards myself. This year might be no better than last.